The Wiki -- Who is Ski Bully™
Who is Hans von Stompsit? (A.K.A. Ski Bully)
Everybody needs one! Hans von Stompsit, better known as “Ski Bully,” is as legendary and as mysterious as the out-of-bounds lines he rips on his 210's. Standing six-foot-five and 245 pounds of pure alpine (and Red Bull infused) adrenaline, Hans shreds with the grace of a neon gazelle—if gazelles were sponsored, and always in brand-new gear while crushing schnapps and carving turns at 70 mph.
Put it this way: men want to be him, women want to be with him, and ski patrol? They’re just hoping he stops wrecking the lift lines.
Early Life: The Mystery of Hans
Rumor has it that Hans was conceived somewhere between a hot tub and some poor decisions at a Lake Tahoe free ski competition in the early ‘80s. The whispered names of his possible parents—Sylvia and Rudy (or maybe Harken)—still circulate in après-ski bars. The jury’s out until they can get a 23andMe on him. But he’s always been here, in full stoke, like he just straight-up appeared with his sticks already strapped on.
Raised somewhere on the slopes of Europe, Hans never learned to follow rules or other skiers. By the time he turned up for his first ski school, he was already ducking ropes and launching off kickers while his instructors just shook their heads. Nowadays? Same Hans, different decade. Still boosting Corbet’s on the regular with his girlfriend Lacey.
Get in his way? Don't worry. He’ll probably just blast you with a face full of powder, or probably knock you over if you’re on a snowboard. But he’ll also offer that massive, gloved hand to pull you back up, all with a hug and a smirk. It’s just his style. And for the record, he’s never taken anyone’s lunch money (resort prices basically make that felony these days). He even donates proceeds to charity.
Hans is a mountain sensei, having thrown more daffies than Glen Plake and landed more dinner rolls than Jonny Moseley. He prefers the classics—his favorite-ever ski is the Atomic Red Sled, a retro nod to Billy Johnson.
Whether catching face shots in fresh pow, or throwing back shots on the chairlift, Hans knows how to make a spectacle. And if there’s a camera? Expect a next-level send for his Insta.
Also know this—Hans, though mischievous, is not malicious. Sure, he might cut you in the lift line or pretend not to see an out-of-bounds sign, but he’s also the guy who’ll drag you out of bed at 6 AM for fresh tracks. He's a best friend! Unless, of course, there’s fresh pow. Then all bets are off, because everyone knows there are no friends on a powder day!
Mostly, Hans will make sure you have a killer time on mountain, whether he’s hyping you up on the first chair or leading the charge to après. Expect him to take over the table, beer in hand, exaggerating tales of his latest antics. When you’re with Ski Bully, plan for a legendary day.
Off the mountain, Hans is ski sommelier and an après-ski connoisseur. Duh! And if you ask about his favorite movie, the answer is always the same: Hot Dog (1984)—the film is kind of a home movie for Ski Bully. Others include Aspen Extreme (1983) and Ski School (1990).
He's been dating Lacey Winsalot for the better part of a decade. She's his only match on slope and off. Lacey's Bio
Are you kidding? Hans’s death? Nah, ya can't kill em! The Ski Bully legend lives on! He’s more likely to go out in some bizarre bus accident when he's ninety than on mountain. For now, he’s still shredding, leaving a trail of pow, laughter, and a little carnage behind. Watch for Ski Bully your next time out… you’ll know it’s him when you hear him shout, “SUCK IT!” while in full send.
- Inspired by several 1980’s ski classics.. the “B” movies.
- Glen Plake – A back country stud that started it all.
- Billy Johnson - All time.
- Atomic and Red Sled are probably trademarks of Atomic Austria GmbH.
- 23andMe is a trademark of 23andMe, Inc.
- Red Bull is a trademark of Red Bull GMBH.
- Corbet’s Couloir is a run a Jackson Hole Mountain Resort.
- The "Dinner Roll" is an off axis 720 invented by Olympic skier, Jonny Moseley, and probably isn’t trademarked, but should be!
Ski Bully Gives Back!
10% of Net Proceeds Support Adaptive Skiing and Snowboarding
Each calendar year, Ski Bully pledges to donate 10% of all proceeds from the sale of Ski Bully merchandise to an identified adaptive program in the United States. This year's program is the National Ability Center located in Park City, Utah. Proceeds will be earmarked for adaptive skiing and snowboarding and delivered in January 2025.
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